Personal Life Coach for Women

Christian life coaching principles of interest to women

My Photo
Name:
Location: Cary, North Carolina, United States

MDiv, CBC, Certified Christian Life Coach

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Gift of Joy

I am really a kid at heart. I love the sights and sounds of Christmas. In fact when I go home to visit my family in Richmond, one of the things we like to do as family is to load up in the car and go on the “tacky house tour”. You know those are the houses that have everything in the yard from E.T. to Superman to Santa Claus. What other time of the year can you see such amazing sights and have the whole world drive up and down your street, tie up traffic for hours, and your neighbors still speak to you! Amazing! Christmas does seem to bring out the best in all of us. It is a season of joy and goodwill.


Yet, I am aware that for many, Christmas is not a joyful time. It is a sad time, a difficult and even lonely time. Statistics show that it is one of the most depressing and even violent times of the year. The truth is no amount of E.T.s, Santas on the lawn, turkey, or tinsel can ease the pain when you have lost a loved one or are going through a difficult experience in your life. There has got to be something more. What is it? Let me suggest to you that it is joy.


We too often get happiness and joy confused. Happiness is contingent upon circumstances or events and joy is something much deeper than that. When the angel of the Lord appeared to some very frightened shepherds, the news wasn’t about happiness. It was news about joy. Joy can come even when things don’t look great and times are hard. In fact, joy can even show up in the most unexpected times and places. That’s what happened when the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds. The message of good news couldn’t have come at a darker time in history. The economy of that day was burdened by welfare and heavy taxes. Moral decay abounded and even religious observances had become political.


Joy is something I believe God has wanted us to experience from the very first Christmas until now. Joy, His joy! Did you know that the word joy appears in the Bible 200 times? There is no doubt in my mind that joy is important to God. The Bible even declares that God Himself sings or rejoices over you and I. You see, I believe we are the objects of His joy. You and I are what He takes pleasure in and delights in.


You know when you love someone it’s just hard to keep it to yourself. I have to say at Christmas time my husband is terrible about keeping secrets. When he is excited about his gift, he becomes just like a little kid. He can’t wait to give it to me or to tell me what it is. I hardly ever make it to Christmas without opening my present because he gives it away literally. I always get it ahead! I believe in a real way that’s what happened two thousand years ago. God could not contain His joy and delight over you and I another second. He had to shout from heaven that we were the object of His affection and joy!


Can you imagine what must have been going on in the heart of God before the angel made that announcement? The anticipation, the excitement! I can, almost in my mind’s eye, see the Father peering over the portals of heaven so excited to share the news. He was about to give His very precious gift. It was not any gift, but His best gift, the gift of His Son to a hurting and dying world. “Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel, God with us.”


Now I have to say, what can be better than that? Immanuel has come. God is with us! The creator of heaven and earth is with us! Immanuel, God with us in our darkness, confusion and pain. The One who would walk this journey before us and struggle with every pain and temptation. The One who knows our frailty and weaknesses has come not to condemn us but to light our way, to carry our burden, to give us a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, and to turn our sorrow and mourning into joy.


The prophet Isaiah said it so well, approximately 900 years before the birth of Christ. “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned. You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as men rejoice when dividing the plunder…. For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:2-6)


I hope this Christmas season you will be blessed with friends and family and all the special joys of the season, but even if you are alone or far away from home, may you hear once again the good news that the angel declared. “Behold, I bring you good news of great joy which shall be for all the people.” It’s good news of joy because Immanuel has come. God with us! In my mind, it really doesn’t get much better than that!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Removing Life's Clutter

I love the Fall, the crispness of the air, the beautiful colors in God's creation, but I also realize with the Fall comes clean-up! I keep looking at the leaves in my yard and realize that if we don't get them up soon they may just overtake the yard! How often do our lives become cluttered with unnecessary businesses, events or situations that drain us and at times overwhelm us. It doesn't take long to feel cluttered and bogged down. Maybe it's time for a little Fall cleaning. Let me ask you some simple questions. What can you let go of? What can you eliminate from your schedule? Anything? What can you discard from your life right now? What is important and what is not so important right now? How could your daily life run more efficiently? Are you trying to do it all? Do you need to ask for help? What would make things easier for you? Without evaluation and reflection, we just keep on keeping on with the same old thing and wonder why we are so tired and run down and overtaken by the demands of life.

Let me throw out some suggestions that might be helpful. First, prioritize. What is important? What can simply wait until another day? The one thing that I frequently hear from women is there are not enough hours in a day. Reality is that everyone has the same amount of time in a day. If I am a stay at home mom, I can clean my entire house today or I can clean my bathroom and tackle another cleaning project on another day. It won't go anywhere. If I clean just my bathroom, I may have more time for myself or family that I might not have had. Either way, a task at a time, the house does eventually get cleaned. What's more important?

Second, organize. Organization includes having a place for things, and it also includes having a schedule to live by. Nothing is worse than trying to find your car keys when you are in a panic to get out the door. Can you put your hands on important documents at a moment's notice? Do you know where things are? Taking the time to organize usually alleviates a lot of stress because we know where things are and can access them quickly.

What about a schedule? Many times the day spins by us and we don't know what happened. All the things we intended to do simply don't get done. Schedules keep us focused and on track. Without it, the following can occur. Sally calls for a spontaneous lunch. You drop everything to go and then get behind on some things you really needed to do. As a result, you stay up late to catch up with your work and miss a good night of sleep. It's not that the social event wasn't important, but at the time it wasn't a priority for the day. A schedule would have allowed you to realize today wasn't the greatest day for a social lunch.

Third, eliminate. What can you eliminate from your life? What can you let go of? Are you too busy? Do you have time for your family? Do you have time for you? Are you on your schedule each week? What are you doing for yourself on a weekly basis that is life giving to you? I don't believe we were put on this earth to be self-absorbed, “me first” people. Real joy and satisfaction comes in life when we give and serve others; however, I don't believe God intends us to serve everyone else until we are depleted of all energy and joy. If you don't take time for you, you will eventually get stressed out and burned out!

What can you do for yourself this week that is simply fun or relaxing for you? What gives you life? Do you know? For every woman it is different. For some, it's a long bath with candles. For others, it's hanging out with girlfriends or pursuing a hobby. Whatever it is, are you pursuing it intentionally? Do you have you on your day-timer or schedule? As women, we are often great at care-taking, but not so good at taking care of ourselves. Everybody else comes first and we are last on the list. If you don't become intentional about making time for you, then trust me you will get lost in the shuffle. After all, aren't you as important as your family, friends, and those you care about? If you are not nurtured and strengthened, what good are you to anyone else? When you carve out some time for you, you become refreshed and life looks so much better! What can you eliminate from your schedule so you have time for you?

Finally, what relationships do you need to consider distancing yourself from? Do you have more negative relationships than positive? Are you weighed down with too many toxic relationships? How could you change this in your life? Are there relationships that you need to eliminate because they are destructive and unhealthy? Have you created an unhealthy dependence? How could you go about finding positive and uplifting people to begin to associate with? There is a time for ministry and a time for healthy friends that you can laugh and have a good time with. Even Jesus didn't go around every waking hour ministering to and healing people. Where is the balance in your life?

Fall is a great time to do some deep cleaning. Will you take the time to do some soul searching about your life? What do you need to give priority to right now? What is really important to you in this season of life? How can you organize your life so that there is time for the things that are really important to you, yourself included? What and who can you distance yourself from so you have more freedom to be you and to pursue your dreams.

I think if you will take the time to remove the clutter from your life, your life will take on new color and vibrancy just like this beautiful Fall season.